By: Jane Scearce
Though public understanding of depression has
improved somewhat over the years, we as a society still frequently
misunderstand or overlook depression and its symptoms.
Because of the continuing stigma, we don’t
always recognize when people in our lives are struggling with this illness.
Worse, too many people go undiagnosed because of erroneous assumptions about
how depression manifests and what to look for.
This results in a number of people who’s
depression is hidden, either from others or from themselves. Especially when a
person with depression is undiagnosed, they may develop ways of coping with
their problems that conceals their illness from those around them or keeps the
person from recognizing their symptoms for what they are.
We need to unlearn the assumption that
suffering is always clearly visible to us, so that we can better understand and
help those who struggle with illnesses that go unseen. Here are some signs that
someone might have hidden depression.
01: They might not “look depressed”
Due to media and cultural stereotypes, most
of us have assumptions about how someone behaves and looks if they’re
struggling with depression. We imagine someone who rarely leaves their room,
doesn’t dress themselves well, and constantly looks miserable, but people with
depression do not all behave in the same way.
All people are, of course, different from
each other, and the symptoms and coping abilities of people with depression
also differ. Many are able to keep up a facade of good mental health to protect
themselves, but they aren’t suffering any less simply because they can do this.
Similarly, those who are unable to keep up such a facade are not “weaker” than
those who can.
02: They may often seem exhausted or complain
about always being tired
A prevalent side effect of depression is
constant exhaustion. Not everyone with the disorder struggles with it, but it’s
extremely common. For those who experience this symptom with their depression,
it’s often one of the hardest side effects to cope with.
Also, if someone is living with an
undiagnosed depression disorder, the cause of their exhaustion can be baffling.
They can get plenty of sleep each night and still wake up every morning feeling
like they only slept a few hours. Worse, they may blame themselves, believing
it to be laziness or some other personal fault that’s causing their low energy
levels.
This is also a symptom that’s difficult to
conceal for those who have been diagnosed with depression but are attempting to
keep it from their peers, as it often affects their workload and personal
relationships.
03: They can be unusually irritable
A depressed person’s behavior might be
interpreted as melancholy even if that’s not what they’re really feeling.
Irritability is a frequently overlooked symptom of depression that is also very
common. This should be understandable, since depression is a health problem you
can’t “see” or strictly measure, making it hard to combat.
The constant work it takes to keep up all the
necessary aspects of life while dealing with depression also drains the person,
and leaves little room for patience or understanding.
If someone you know discovers they’re
clinically depressed and shares this with you, you may initially be confused if
their previous behavior didn’t fit the common misconception of the shy, silent
depressed person. If they tend to have a short temper and are quick to annoy,
that’s actually a side effect of depression.
04: They could have a tough time responding to
affection and concern
The main misconception about depression,
which has been hinted at in the paragraphs above, is that it’s about “feeling”
sad.
On the contrary, depression is mostly not
feeling anything, or only partially and briefly experiencing emotions. It
depends on the individual, but some people with depression report feeling
almost “numb,” and the closest thing to an emotion they experience is a kind of
sadness and/or irritation.
Because of this, appropriately responding to
gestures or words of affection will be difficult for them, or they just don’t
think about it any more.
They may even get irrationally irritated or
annoyed with you over it, because it may simply be too difficult for their
brains to process and respond to your loving gestures.
05: They might frequently turn down activities
they used to love or would otherwise enjoy
Unless other explanations could equally be
possible, an uncharacteristic lack of interest in activities over an extended
period of time could be a sign that someone has depression. As mentioned above,
depression is just as physically draining as it is mentally draining, which
makes enjoying all the things you usually do difficult.
Previously-loved activities can even lose
their appeal in general, because depression also commonly makes it difficult to
enjoy or feel fulfilled by much at all. If you have no other way of explaining
their decreasing interest, it could be a symptom of clinical depression.
06: They can develop abnormal eating habits
Abnormal eating habits mainly develop for two
reasons: as a form of coping, or as a side effect of lack of self-care. Eating
too little or too much is a common sign of depression. Overeating is often
shamed the most, when food can be the one source of pleasure a depressed person
is able to give themselves and thus causes them to eat excessively.
When a depressed person is eating too little,
it’s often because their depression is affecting their appetite and making
eating unappealing. It can also be a subconscious need to control something,
since they cannot control their depression. If someone is undiagnosed or has
not shared that they have depression, people will assume their eating habits
are a personal fault and judge them for it, making the person feel worse.
07: They may start needing more from you
A depressed person legitimately can’t
function like a mentally health person. There will be things they will no
longer be able to do as much of, as often, or at all. Pestering or shaming them
about it will only hurt, not help. If they’ve been keeping their depression
private, it will be that much harder to deal with others getting irritated with
them because they can’t perform at the level that’s expected of mentally
healthy people.
This is why it’s always best to be
understanding with those in your life, both work and personal. You don’t know
if someone isn’t just slacking off, but is struggling with a real health
problem.
08: They can have bad days, and “better” days
Depression can have its ups and downs. If
someone has hidden or undiagnosed depression, they might seem like they get
random mood swings, depending on if their depression is consistent or not. To
you (and to them, if they are undiagnosed), the changes in mood seem without
cause, but it’s simply how some people’s depression manifests.
If you know the person has depression, it’s
possible to falsely believe they’re permanently better because of a few “good”
days. While it’s always great if someone has a day that’s better than the one
before it, you should always let them tell you what they’re ready to handle and
when.
Assuming they’ve completely recovered and
pushing them too quickly into things might overwhelm them and make them retreat
into themselves again. Be supportive of your friends and family who have
depression, but let them make the calls.
Please SHARE This
With Your Friends & Family..
